If you read my adventure race reports (you do read them, don’t you?), you know that I sometimes, well, embellish a little. This one is different—100 percent true, I promise.

 

Nestled in the thick forests and steep hills of the Willamette (will-Ah-met, and don’t you dare mispronounce it around the locals) River Valley, Oakridge, OR is a scenic but long eight-hour drive from the Bay Area for team leader Roger Pruett, pro adventure racer Andy Tubbs, and I. Pro triathlete Jolene Wilkerson flew in from Utah to complete our team. Ultrarunning champions Bev and Alan Anderson-Abbs graciously offered their vacation home as a base camp. Rarified company, indeed.

 

The race started at the shockingly leisurely hour of 10 AM on Saturday. Of course, we had to show up at 8 AM for the shuttle to the starting line, but still….and the van ride took us up about 4,000 feet in elevation—free vertical gain!

 

In typical bit of adventure race devilishness, the race began with a two-mile trail run to a remote location to pick up our first set of course directions and maps. The gun went off at precisely 10:00:00. By 10:02:35, I was wheezing like a freight train. Hmmm, perhaps my asthma meds need adjustment? Fortunately, Andy put me on tow, and literally hauled me two miles up to the map pickup. Somehow, my oxygen-starved brain managed to figure out our immediate next steps quicker than any of the other teams, and, after three more miles of trail running, we were the third team to arrive at the bike transition.

 

Remember those “free” 4,000 vertical feet? We used up nearly every last one on a 30-mile singletrack descent next to the crashing, rushing, and finally burbling Willamette River as it (and we) dropped to Hills Creek Lake.

 

That’s right, 30 miles of singletrack (remember, this report is unembellished). While Roger urged us on from the front, Andy amused Jolene and me with a few comical crashes, including one that flung him halfway down the river bank (stick around, Andy’s was just the warmup for the main act).

 

Off the bikes, on with the trail running shoes, and more maps and course directions to sort through. After a little splashing around in the braided river mouth to find a hidden checkpoint, we linked arms and forged the main channel, and then ran down the road to pick up our kayaks. Literally. Man, those suckers are heavy, even on a short walk down to the waterline.

 

The 15-mile kayak segment included “creekteering,” where we beached the boats and meandered up a canyon on foot in search of another hidden checkpoint. It also included an inadvertent meetup with a rather beery gentleman who was happy to chit-chat and offer us directions to a checkpoint that I had (ahem) misplotted on the map.

 

That little goof cost us more time than we could afford to give up, and we arrived at the next transition just as it got seriously dark. We didn’t bother to stock up on food and water, as I calculated we had a two-mile trail run to our next, provisioned checkpoint.

 

Sing it to the tune of Gilligan’s Island:

“The team set out that night

for a two-mile run…

a two-mile run.”

 

Thirty minutes into the run….

Roger: “We’ve been running at about a 12-minute mile pace for 30 minutes now, so we should be getting close.”

Ken (sure of himself): “Yep, let’s keep going.”

 

An hour into the run….

Roger: “This trail does twist and turn a lot, so maybe it’s more like three or even four miles?”

Ken (less sure of himself): “Ummm, yeah.”

 

Way more than an hour into the run….

Roger: “This is the right trail, right? I mean, we haven’t seen any intersections.”

Ken (mumbling): “Umph.”

 

Finally, I got it through my thick skull that I had misinterpreted the course directions, and the next checkpoint (with no provisions) was SIX miles away. The actual transition area with the hot chocolate and cookies and water and dry clothes was ANOTHER six miles uphill from that. Ouch.

 

To their credit, Andy, Jolene, and Roger resisted the temptation to force me to eat the maps when I ran out of food and water, and instead bolstered my flagging energy by sharing some of their own dwindling supplies. But they rightly ribbed me pretty mercilessly for the rest of the race, and the drive home.

 

Around 1:30 AM, we bushwacked up to the Promised Land of egg burritos, music, homemade cookies…and more maps and course directions. Unlike some other teams, we resisted the lure of luxury and hightailed out on our bikes.

 

A few paved and fire roads (and one steep, occasionally impenetrable bikewhack) later, we hit the night’s main event. First, we shouldered our bikes and climbed up a muddy, rocky, darn near vertical (OK, I promised accuracy, so let’s say 35% grade) trail. What goes up, must go down---another, 3,000-foot singletrack descent…this one much gnarlier and steeper than the last. Right about this time, Jolene got that “What have I gotten myself into?” look in her eyes, but gamely and uncomplainingly forged ahead.

 

Just before sunrise, I rounded a bend in the trail and glanced up at the fog coursing through the Willamette River Valley, backlit with a soft orange glow. This distraction may have had something to do with bouncing my front wheel off rock hidden beneath a fern, launching headfirst down a steep slope, sliding toward a dropoff. I grabbed onto some creeper vines, which swung me around to face uphill, and jammed my hip into the hillside just above an overhanging lip. Pulling my dangling feet up was impossible without loosening my only point of contact (my hip), and besides, there was no purchase available on the wet vines. Hollering for help seemed like a good idea.

 

I twisted around to see if I had any other options, but could not see directly below me, only that the canyon fell away quite steeply farther down. While we waited for Andy to run back up with a line, Roger suggested he and Jolene could hold my bike (which was laying about a foot above me) while I used it as a ladder. Mighta worked too, had I agreed quickly. Alas, I felt the cliff edge crumble and the creepers giving way...

 

…and I fell...

 

…about a foot...

 

…and my feet sank into soft ground!

 

Whew.

 

Clambered back up and kept riding.

 

The rest of the race was a rather unremarkable mixture of biking and running, sprinkled with a couple of more river crossings.

 

We hit the finish line after 90-100 miles in 23 hours, 14 minutes, first in our division and fourth or fifth overall. The crowd (OK, two eight-year-olds and a dog) cheered as we discussed which diner would host four muddy, smelly, sleepy, and “just bring the whole left side of the menu” hungry adventure racers.